It was just like any other train ride home. I was scrolling my mobile phone when Weibo’s top trending topic popped out — “Coco Lee is dead”. I could feel my heart shaking and my mind swirling with thoughts of disbelief. How could this be true?
With trembling fingers, I frantically looked up Google, hoping that this was another piece of fake news. What turned up in my search were articles after articles of breaking news confirming the terrible truth.
And just like that, we lost another beautiful soul to depression.
I found it hard to come to terms with the loss of the exuberant pop diva. Ever ready with her megawatt smile, she radiated an infectious cheerfulness that was evident in her upbeat songs. With a burning passion for singing and dancing, she was a shining star destined for the stage. Driven by the indomitable spirit in her, she always worked hard to present the best version of herself to the world.
When I arrived home, I turned on my computer only to be hit by a barrage of notifications about Lee’s death and her iconic works. As I took in the tragic news, it struck me that she was someone I had personally met and interviewed multiple times. The memories from our time together replayed over and over in my head, and even now, I find it hard to wrap my mind around the fact that the vivacious performer’s life has been extinguished.
From the late 1990s to the early 2010s, I was part of the editorial team on Mediacorp’s entertainment magazine iWeekly, which is the present-day online site, 8world Entertainment and Lifestyle. As a music beat reporter, I covered her concerts and press conferences and even featured her on the cover of iWeekly several times. The Mandopop icon left a lasting impression on me, and the generation of music listeners who were born in the 70s and 80s. Etched in our collective memories, we will remember the legend’s charismatic personality, as well as her contributions to the Chinese music industry.
Every single interview I had with Lee, she would light up the room the moment she entered. No matter how tired she was or how late the interview took place, she greeted everyone warmly in her high-energy, high-pitched voice. She could have easily held claim as the most optimistic, cheerful, and positive artiste in the Mandopop world. She emanated a warmth reminiscent of the weather in California, the sunny US state where she grew up.
She was the kind of person who couldn’t help but want to bring joy to others, even if she was miserable inside. While happiness is universal on the surface, suffering can appear differently in everyone. We overlooked the fact that where there is light, there is also shadow. She was a ray of sunshine personified, yet she had been swallowed by her darkness. The double whammy of mental and physical struggles broke her spirit and became the last straw that pushed her over the edge.
She must have struggled so much masking her grief with happiness.
Going back further in my memory, when the magazine ceased publication in 2018, I sorted through my work for over a decade. Due to the sheer volume, I could only keep the ones that left the deepest impressions and those I felt I had written well. Among them, there was a cover story I wrote in September 2010 about Coco.
That particular cover shoot and interview totally changed my impression of her. It was by far the most fun interview I had with her. She showed me what it takes to be a superstar with grace. Paying great attention to every single detail, she took charge in a warm and friendly manner. I summed it up in a line in my article: “There’s a fine line between being a perfectionist and being difficult.”
Never would I imagine that years later I would be writing about Lee again — in the form of a heartbreaking tribute. There was an outpouring of grief from celebrities remembering her kindness. She must have been a nurturing mentor to showbiz juniors and brightened the lives of those around her.
The pop legend was to mark her 30th anniversary in showbiz this year, but regrettably, she will not be able to celebrate this milestone.
On her final Weibo post on 20 May, she shared the lyrics from her song “Battle Song”: “I've endured pain and shed tears, faced doubt and promised fate that I would start over again.”
She also added a message in the post: “Life is full of trials and tribulations, so muster the courage to tackle the challenges. You are a warrior.”
In recent years, she advocated love and faith, and adopted the attitude of a “female warrior”. Till the very end, she had a grateful mindset and viewed the world through a lens of kindness.
She embodied the spirit of a steely female warrior, who persevered till the end.
She did not lose the battle. Exhausted from fighting the fear and sorrow, it’s time for her to take a rest.
Thank you for illuminating this world with your life.
看到李玟离世消息的那夜，我搭着地铁正在回家的路上，顺手滑手机看微博热搜，登上榜首的竟然是“李玟去世”。
心颤了一下。震惊错愕。难以置信。
不可能，心中祈求又是一则假新闻，手指颤抖着搜寻谷歌，一篇篇标着快讯的即时报道很不幸地证实了这个噩耗。
又一个美丽的灵魂远走高飞了，夺走她的，是抑郁症
如此活力四射、阳光开朗的一个人，怎么可能？怎么可以？
一直笑呵呵的Coco，就像她的歌一样，大家看着听着天天都有好心情，在台上她热歌热舞，热爱这一切，永远那么闪闪发光，总是努力把最好的一面带给大家。
回到家打开电脑，动态消息推送着她的新闻和作品，一个个听看下来，才真切地意识到曾多次接触、给我带来如此多回忆的人就这样走远了，很难接受这么鲜活的生命再也回不来，往事一幕幕，到现在还是恍惚无力难以描述。
1990年代中后期到2010年代早期，我在新传媒已停刊的娱乐杂志《i周刊》（《8视界娱乐生活志》前身）任职，那时跑的是音乐线，采访过无数次Coco的演唱会、记者会，也跟她做过不少封面专访，李玟为我的采访生涯留下了许多深刻的印记。那些年叱咤风云的天后李玟，承载了太多跟着华语流行音乐一起成长的70、80后集体回忆，深知她在华语乐坛的重要性，也难忘她的人格魅力。
每一次采访，李玟进场的一瞬间，整个世界仿佛都被点亮了，无论多累多晚，她总是热情大方地跟每个人打招呼，高八度的声音drama又可爱。李玟绝对是你能想到的华语地区艺人中，看上去最乐观开朗积极阳光的一个，明亮温暖得就像她生活成长的美国加州。
她是不管自己过得多糟，都会尽力给周围人带来快乐的人吧。
幸福千篇一律，苦难各不相同。很抱歉，我们忘了面向阳光，阴影永远在背后，一个自带阳光的人原来一直独自被黑暗吞噬。Coco这几年遭受了身心重大变故，双重的崩溃折磨，成了压倒她的最后一根稻草。
那些在阳光下并不觉得灿烂的日子，真的，辛苦了。
把记忆再推前一些，杂志在2018年停刊的时候，我整理了这10多年来的作品，因为实在海量，最后只能选择留下一些印象最好最深刻，自认写得还不错的。关于Coco的，有这么一篇2010年9月出版的封面故事。
那次的封面拍摄和专访，多少颠覆了我对Coco的既定印象，是那些年采访李玟最有趣好玩的一次。她让我意识到一个专业巨星该有的风范与高度，对细节认真讲究，全程态度亲切友善但take charge，当时就让我有感而发写下了“要求完美与难搞，仅微线之差”这句话。
多年后再写李玟，没想到竟是以悼念的心碎形式。
一颗曾经如此耀眼的星就此殒落，很多明星好友发文悼念，相信她真的照顾了很多后辈、照亮了大家，才有这么多人记得她的好。
今年是李玟出道30周年，却来不及庆祝了。
她最后一条微博永远停留在5月20日。
近几年，Coco不断以越挫越勇的“女战士”姿态倡导着爱与信念，一直到离开前都是抱着感恩的心，很善良地看待这个世界。
她非常坚强，她是女战士，坚持到了最后一刻。
她没有输，或许是无法挣脱的恐惧与悲哀让她太累了，所以才会想睡在月光里。
谢谢你曾经用生命点亮过这个世界，我们会记着你的余温。
